God-like Qualities of a Certain Redhead
by Toasty Rye
Summary: AU. Roxas has seen death countless times and his life he has made for himself begins to crumble when he moves from the only city he's ever called home to start anew. He meets his guardian angel in the form of an egotistical asshole who isn't as bad as he thought. Other pairings inside, mainly AkuRoku.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first AkuRoku fanfic. I don't normally write up about Kingdom Hearts but I was feeling nostalgic over a few older fanfics I went back and re-read. This is set in an alternative universe/AU that's pretty much the real world. I've decided to go a darker route and brush up on violence, drugs, alcohol, angst, self-harm, attempted suicide and maybe sexual assault or rape. Though, not everything is going to be depressing, just Roxas and a few choice characters. I promise it will lighten up later down the road and a somewhat, not happy but content ending I have in mind when the time comes but that is subject to change.

Full Summary: Roxas has seen death countless times and his life he has made for himself begins to crumble when he moves from the only city he's ever called home to start anew. He meets his guardian angel in the form of an egotistical asshole who isn't as bad as he thought. Other pairings inside, mainly AkuRoku.

Roxas was there when his mother was on her deathbed, he was there when his father commited suicide then when his older brother's boyfriend was killed in a car wreck. As each death passed by, his coping methods worsened. Cloud's had enough and uproots them to a new city, a new beginning.

Roxas was only 12 when his mother passes away from cancer. She was desperately trying to combat it for 2 years prior but it was at its final stage and her skin was ashen paired with tired, slightly glazed over eyes. She tried to smile and pat her youngest son's hand. He remembers her small petite hand being cold as ice. He glanced at his older brother Cloud, who being 19 at the time rushed out of his university classes to see his mother what would be the one last time. Their father looked almost almost as worn down as his wife and he sat next to her bed as her heart monitor began rapidly making a high pitched sound that echoed in the room for about a minute. Nurses began quickly moving around Roxas' mother trying to stabilize her until the machine went eerie silent. His father let out a sob and Roxas himself couldn't help but grabbing the fabric of Cloud's shirt and cry into it.

Roxas did a lot of crying. He hated feeling so weak and useless. Was there anything he could have done to prevent his mother's death? She was just laughing and dancing around the house cooking a few short months ago! Why hadn't he noticed her coughing fits or her every seemingly being zapped right from her body? The 12 year old watched a rift in his family tear them apart. His father wanted little to nothing with his blond boys. Not even so much as a glance or 'How is school?' exchanged between them. It pushed Roxas even further out if the house to hide his pain.

Regrettably Cloud went back to university and Roxas continued school. Hayner would often skip with him and they sat behind their old clubhouse to smoke fags and just enjoy each others company. If he was lucky, Hayner would have a cigar from his father's stash. On occasion Pence and Olette would join them but only when there was no school. Neither of the studious friends ever accepted a cancer stick from the blond boys. A couple of years passed by, the group of kids becoming 15 with the exception of Hayner turning 16 and getting his drivers licences.

Roxas walked back to his house at midnight, swiping at the mosquitoes that attempted to suck his precious blood from his pale skin. He noticed the lights were on through the kitchen windows as he crept quietly into his house. A quick glance towards the light source in the kitchen Roxas stopped. His dad was hunched over the table going through the mass of hospital and debt collector bills he had received the previous years of his wife's treatments and hospital stays. He had a half empty bottle of scotch and a small glass.

Roxas snuck towards his room, hoping his dad didn't notice him because he had been out drinking with Hayner. The two would frequent Seifer and his posse on occasion when they were feeling free-spirited. Seifer was 21, roughly a year older than Cloud. Though, Seifer and Cloud would never be caught dead hanging out, they were polar opposites and had often scuffled with each other in primary school.

The blond would roll his head back in pure bliss when he managed smoke some good hash. He passed it around to Seifer, Rai, Setzer and Hayner. Fuu and Vivi would only drink and even then Vivi would sober up and tried to place himself as the designated driver. Soon the party crowd got too much for Hayner and he would only drink. Nights like those Roxas tried to stay away from the addictive substances.

Roxas took an ibuprofen and washed his face in the bathroom before getting into bed around 1 am. He woke to the sound of the telly blaring from the living room at a quarter past 4. It was still dark outside and Roxas stumbled around trying to make his way towards the sound source. He crept across the house for the 2nd time that night and he stared at the movie that was playing. It was a classical western film and he looked for the remote. He glanced towards the kitchen seeing his father's dark figure standing by the counter.

"Dad what are you still doing up?" Roxas asked over the sound of the movie. It was too loud in the house to hear the clicking sound coming from the object his father held. "Have you seen the..." Roxas then saw the object in his father's hand. It was the gun from his safe. He held it up towards his chin but then settled for placing the barrel inside the cavern of his mouth.

Roxas tripped into the kitchen table, spilling the mess of bills and letters onto the floor. The noise alerted his father and he turned to face his youngest son. His finger was on the trigger and the pupils of his eyes were almost non-existent. "Dad what the hell?" The blond had meant to yell towards his only living parent but his voice came out soft and drowned out from the movie.

Click. The sound following was almost deafening and then there was nothing. Blood spattered everywhere, noticeably a large blood spot on the wall behind his father but there were little droplets that had impacted on the bills all over the floor. The worst was the few speckles that landed on the teenager's face. He could feel the thick, red substance roll down his cheek onto his shirt.

Roxas didn't remember the events that followed the suicide of his father. He remembered his throat being stiff and scratchy by the time the paramedics arrived. Dead on the spot they announced as they cheeked his pulse and loaded him onto a gurney. Roxas didn't remember the ride the police officer with the long dark hair gave him as he escorted him to sit up at the station. The man had a quiet voice and piercing red eyes that almost looked through his entire being.

"Where were you tonight?" The officer, Vincent Valentine deadpanned.

"I was in my room. I was getting a glass of water." He hated how unsure and small his voice sounded.

"Really? I have eyewitnesses who say they saw you get out of a car 15 minutes before the estimated time of death. You can't be at 2 places at once."

"I didn't kill my dad if that's what your asking! I was...I was out with my friends. You can ask them!" He was upset, even infuriated that this stranger would assume such a thing! Fine, the truth came out bitterly. No point in lying about where he was if they already knew he had been out.

Cloud was the listed emergency contact and was up at the station in just under 10 minutes even though the drive from his flat was twice as long as it took him. His brother's boyfriend, Zack followed behind. Both of the university students stood in their pyjamas and it would have been funny seeing that their night clothes matched each other under different circumstances. That's when the red eyed officer informed the couple he had alcohol in his system.

Roxas was numb even as he went home with them and took a hot shower. He laid on their couch, staring up at the ceiling. No one went to school that day. The court ruled it as a suicide finding no evidence the youngest son would commit such a crime. Though, they did get him on underaged drinking and he had to spent the next 2 months going to a meeting for depressed teenagers. Oh, plus a therapist that was only in it for the money.

Talking about it never helped. The blue eyed boy just had to be more crafty and cunning about his blatant drug and alcohol abuse. Cloud and Zack were always so busy it made Roxas' job easy. He doubled on twice the amount of his daily intake. Snort coke, smoke crank, swallow acid, inhaling paint thinners. Anything and everything to take his mind off of his own life.

Roxas blocked out the images ingrained into his head. They sold their house and moved all of the blond's personal items into their apartment. Life resumed momentarily. Roxas was 17 by this point and hung out with the crew of his older brother's sworn enemy rather than Hayner. Heroin, meth, LSD, cocaine and marijuana were just a few of Roxas' weapons though the latter was nearly harmless and he would sometimes stub one with Zack as they goofed around to piss off Cloud.

His preferred weapon was meth or heorin and he easily obtained it from Seifer. Only snort or smoke. He didn't want to cover his arms in track marks making it a dead giveaway of his problem. Seifer was a tall, gangly looking blond never seen with his black beanie perched over his thinning hair. Roxas and him became the best of friends, replacing Hayner entirely.

Roxas didn't bother showing up to class anymore, he couldn't concentrate if he tried. His once perfect marks had slipped down the drain. His extracurricular activities were non-appealing to the point he couldn't stand listening to the words that came out of his peers mouths. He became angry and easily agitated. The simplest of questions or sounds set him off. Weed became a daily ritual needing the plant after a long, hard night of more dangerous drugs.

In the back of his mind, he knew that Cloud knew. Cloud didn't know the extent of the problem though. Alcohol and weed never hurt the older Strife as he was just like Roxas his age. The parties were normal, the teenage rebelling was normal even the lack of communication was normal. The tall blond made excuses for his brother, he'd be better when he started college or give him time to mourn the loss of his father.

Roxas attended his brother's university graduation, a cheerful and bright day to receive their diplomas. His brother was nearly top of his class if you didn't count his genius best friend Sephiroth. He sat in an uncomfortable chair in the shade, hissing at the sound of overwhelming clapping and cheering increasing his headache by a tenfold. He kept his hood up uncaring if the heat made him sweat. He just wanted to go. After the ceremony everyone was taking pictures. Zack and Cloud took embarrassing photos of being sweet little love birds and Sephiroth tried to look as dignified as possible but a brunet Roxas didn't know the name of snatched up his diploma. The group of the 4 grown men parted ways after that day with the obvious exception of his brother and his goofball of a boyfriend.

Cloud was working late and one of Zack and his friends was going to be in town. Zack had gladly volunteered to pick the silver haired man up from the airport and drag Roxas with him. By miracle, Roxas choosing to lay down in the back seat listening to his iPod was so sort of miracle because just 5 minutes from their destination a car hit them head on from no where. Zack died and Roxas wish it had been him instead. Nothing ever works out that way and Roxas spent 2 weeks in the hospital after the car had flipped half a dozen times, breaking his leg in the process. He was to wear this itchy cast for 6 months but before that time ever came Cloud told him they were to be moving right before the end of the summer. One of Cloud's friends from university had suggested the two brothers move into his home town 8 hours away from their current residence. Cloud needed to move on from everything negative for the sake of Roxas.

Neither of them knew the damage that had already been done.


	2. Chapter 2

The flight to Twilight Town only 3 hours but we had a delay to refuel the aeroplane's fuel. The only good thing about the cast on my leg is Cloud dished out extra cash for 1st class. I sat with my head against the window with earbuds tucked into my ears. I listened to my favourite group, 21 Pilots for the entire flight drowning out the sound of my brother snoring softly next to me. We didn't bring many possessions except some clothes and personal items.

I watched the beach town of Destiny Island fade away into tiny specks then to nothing. Why was it even an Island anyway? It was just a coast line town. I thought of Pence and his natural habitat, the kitchen. He had short hair and always wore some kind of logo on his clothes that I didn't recognize. Even though he was chubby no one ever made fun of him for being overweight because he always ate healthy. When I say he was always in the kitchen it's because he was a hell of a good chef.

Olette was smart like Pence, even so more smart but maybe too much for her own good. She was the motherly type and a worrisome girl if you were even 2 minutes late. Despite her flaws she was the mist innocent and kindest out if us lot. Her goals in life could be listed on one hand because everyone knew what she wanted. It's not a lie that she wants to be Pence's girlfriend as they go to some prestigious university and become the power couple, she wants to be a world famous uplifting singer that has her songs played on the radio everywhere and that she wants to pursue a career as a veterinarian when he's not singing.

Hayner was my best friend since daycare and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have an goals in life yet. He likes to smoke under the gazebo during break, chug more alcohol then anyone else in the room only to spew it out in a mess later after everyone's gone, play video games until the sun rises and he's gotten all the achievements and high scores or in his quieter moments he could be found writing in his blog about places he would like to visit for their calm waters or to climb risky mountains. Maybe his goal would be to explore exotic places and meet extraordinary people.

I felt empty when I think of leaving them behind. They were my best friends and they always had the best intentions for me unlike Seifer, Rai, Fuu and Setzer. Vivi is probably the only one out if them has anything going for them. He actually is in university to become some kind if engineer, bio-engineering if I'm not mistaken but he usually succumbs to his best friends puppy eyes to partake in drowning their liver and kidneys.

I bit the inside of my cheek to distract myself from the thoughts of everything I've came to know and love. I was toxic waste to the city. The lush trees and warm sands didn't need me bringing up the crime rate or adding another toll to their death rate. My parents were buried in the cemetery together. It's what they would have wanted. Life was a bitch. My mum should have lived then my dad wouldn't have killed himself when he was throat high in bills.

One of the flight attendants was constantly checking up on me, asking if I needed an extra pillow or a drink. She had short blue hair that could be called an aqua colour and a nice sized rack that pushed up against her sheer white shirt. I could make out the colour of her bra, pink. Not hot pink but a soft pink that seemed innocent. Between Cloud's naps he must have woken up and noticed me staring at her chest.

"Ugh Roxas, that's Aqua." He scolded me while I was watching her check on other passengers.

"How do you know her?" I leered slightly, looking in his eyes for any hesitation.

"You know Terra, Zack's older brother. Well, Aqua is his fiancee." The older Strife sibling's voice cracked at the mention of Zack's name. I had only met Terra once when we went to the Fair's family home for a holiday dinner last year. Aqua was very pretty and I could see she was definitely Terra's type. Every man in in the Fair family shared a common interest in preference.

I willed myself to stop staring at the flight attendant because I felt guilty. If I hadn't been perverted, Cloud wouldn't have noticed and brought up Zack's name.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. He didn't even glance in my direction, lost in his own world. I wanted to ask him if he wish it was me that had died instead of his boyfriend. Not here in public but one day I want to ask him.

We finally landed in Twilight Town's airport after almost thinking my arse was going to fall off from numbness. I hobbled to gather my luggage off the conveyor belt at pickup. Cloud stopped me before I hurt myself or someone else trying to pick up a rather heavy suitcase.

"That friend I told you I went to uni with is here to pick us up and I'm sure he'll have no problems carrying your suitcases." He gestured towards a brunet man no older than Cloud and only stood a few centimetres above him as well. "Squall Leonhart." Cloud gave Squall a quick one armed bro hug. It strikes me as strange because usually the blond gives proper hugs.

Squall glanced at me and smiled. "Hey you must be Roxy, Cloud's mentioned you a lot. Wow, you're actually shorter than Sora." He ruffled my already messy hair but it didn't stop me from complaining and hissing in annoyance how I needed to fix it again.

"Leon! There you are I thought I lost you!" A brunet teenager just barely taller than myself screeched and bounced towards us. I could see the resemblance between the two browned haired males immediately. This must be Sora.

Said boy flailed his arms in excitement with a huge loopy grin in his face. His coffee splashed haphazardly inside the cup. The cup was steaming and it looked like it would burn if it landed on anyone. I eyed it with caution. Even though he stood right next to us he didn't lower his voice from the same octave he used to call his brother out half way across the airport.

"Hi, hi, hi! You must be Roxas, I'm Sora. I'm so happy to be making a new best friend and you're going to live in our building! We're living on the same floor and everything! When you go back to school I can introduce you to all my other best friends. Oh, do you like cats? I do! We have 2 right now because that's all our landlord will let us have. Hey, what happened to your leg, how did it get in a cast? Can I sign it?"

The moment the brunet looked at me and opened his mouth I stood have walked away because I was blown away by how shrill his voice was and how the questions never stopped. I doubt I would have got very far with my leg and frankly I don't even remember anything he said. He said something about best friends, cats and my cast.

I reached up towards Sora and grabbed the coffee out of his hand. "I don't think you need this." I watched his face shift from a pout to a look that could only be described as I murdered his cat when I threw the sugary caffeinated drink into the rubbish bin.

Needless to say, he didn't even spare a glance at me in the back seat as Squall drove us to our apartment complex. I smirked inwardly to myself, I was in control. Cloud may have scolded me for being rude but it was worth it. Leon looked bewildered towards me but I just smiled and grabbed the handle of my suitcase.


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud had purchased a two bedroom flat right across from Squall's much to my disappointment. I'd have to see that annoying pipsqueak every time I opened the door. There wasn't any furniture inside the apartment yet except for an oven, stove and fridge. Cloud had ordered bedroom sets that were to be delivered by Friday. Just like that he was gone with Squall to put in a job application were the brunet works. It was pretty much a guarantee Cloud was going to be hired simply for the fact Squall had as much charm as at least 5 boybands put together.

I glanced at the key in my hand and stood in the hallway awkwardly. I didn't feel like going through my luggage right now do I hobbled towards Sora's apartment. I thought about knocking but he opened the door before I could change my mind. He had a Winnie the Pooh mug full of sticky coffee in his hand and nearly glared daggers at me even thought his face was too cherub with eyes much too big and bright to look menacing. A black cat made her way under Sora's feet and circled around my uninjured leg, purring loudly and leaving behind fur that I would probably even up finding all over my clothes later.

"Xion, you're a dirty traitor, don't fraternize with the enemy!" The once bubbly now grumpy brunet scolded and went to snatch up his precious baby. She hissed at him, the fur on her back sticking up. "Well...she has good judge of character and she loves you already, so I guess I won't stay mad at you." Sora shooed Xion back inside, calling her a slut and closing the door behind her. He stood out in the hallway with me, gulping down his hot drink.

"What's your other cat's name?" I eyed the cat scratches littering the coffee drinker's arm. Tea is fuckin' better! Sora went from grumpy to indifferent to beaming at the mention of his cats.

"You met Xion, she's a little princess and her brother looks just like her except twice as prissy. His name is Vanitas! Leon rescued them a few years ago when some crazy animal hoarder down the street got arrested on drug charges. He trespassed and everything to save these cats and a few other animals. They were tiny and hungry because the asshat was buying drugs instead of feeding his pets! What a scumbag!" Sora's eyes looked glossy as if he might cry but his voice was steady and confident.

After speaking awkwardly to Sora a few more minutes the bright eyed boy excused himself back inside because Leon was going to hang him out to dry if he didn't clean his room like he was told to. I offered to help but Sora didn't want someone who was hurt to push themselves. He looked like he wanted to ask again about my leg. I sighed in relief that Cloud hadn't told him. I didn't need his pity.

I felt slightly disjointed and sluggish after the plane ride. I could go for a fag right now or even a line of coke. I licked my cracked lips and walked outside. I didn't know any dealers in this town nor did I have my wallet on me as I began walking down the street. At least we lived about a block from all the stores and restaurants. I passed by a few joggers and a girl walking her dog. The weather was relatively cool for being late July. I walked nearly 2 kilometres towards McDonald's and sat at an empty booth.

I pulled out my phone and connected it to the free Wi-Fi so I could check my FaceBook. I updated my status letting everyone known I landed safely and I changed my current residence to Twilight Town. I had a message in my inbox from Hayner. I felt guilty because I didn't even tell him goodbye. I wish I was back at Destiny Islands drinking all our problems away on some shitty vodka. I didn't read the message, I was afraid of what he said to say. It was probably for the better since I amounted myself to being a bad influence on him, Pence and Olette.

I settled for watching YouTube videos with my earbuds mashed into my ears until Cloud began ringing my phone.

"'Ello?" I said trying to hold back my annoyance in my tone. He interrupted me in the middle of watching a Let's Play.

"Roxas, where the fuck are you?" Cloud began nagging me for leaving the complex without letting anyone know especially with a cast in my leg. Jesus, I was 17 already almost an adult and he wants to play parent all of a sudden on me. Screw him! I hung up on him feeling suffocated. It was noisy in the restaurant at dinner time anyway so I got up and began wandering a side street until I found the perfect place.

There was a quaint little park nestled in between a few trees and I sat on a blue swing. It was empty and peaceful giving me time to think. There was a lot of graffiti on the slide so I began to inspect it. It wasn't good artwork at all in fact it was just some names and poorly drawn dicks claiming the park as their own. I traced the faded red paint making out the words 'Dem is Axel's bitch, don't forget it!'.

Maybe I would claim the park as my own someday and I laid in the freshly cut grass until sunset when my phone began ringing again. Cloud began nagging at me again and followed it up with the fact he ordered pizza with Squall. I was hungry and there better be some Hawaiian pizza for me or else I'm going to assume Sora was childish enough to eat mine.

The pizza was always good maybe even better than the pizzeria that Zack used to take me too. I groaned as I took a bit if the warm, melty cheese crust. It was the only way Cloud could get me to eat the whole slices and it worked like a charm. I liked Hawaiian pizza but I would have been just grand with triple cheese. Sor would swipe a piece of pineapple off my slices when he thought I wasn't looking. Jokes on him I ate his brownie when he was in the bathroom. Hey, don't look at me like that I'm starving.


	4. Chapter 4

Sunday morning I woke up in my new bed being hit with withdrawls. I rummaged through one of my bags for any pain medication to soothe me over. I wanted to smack my head into the floor when I found only empty prescriptions. Just my fuckin' luck. I walked quietly to the bathroom, feeling like I was being hit by cinder blocks each step. I managed to make my way into a hot shower, laying on the cool tile until I was sure the feelings of nausea and mosh pitting inside my skull went away.

I found out that I didn't need to walk to McDonald's for Wi-Fi as I could mooch off Squall's. I had been emailing people from Craigslist looking for a good drug dealer in Twilight Town. Someone told Marly is a cheap seller but there was risks that it wasn't pure. I'd been on bad trips before and I didn't have much money in my wallet. Marluxia was the guy I wanted to buy from. He was easy to find in the Red Light District but to be careful because he was a weirdo. I couldn't miss his long pink hair or his floral smell.

Once I'm sure Cloud went to bed after spending his day off with him picking out a living room set and entertainment centre, I quietly booked myself outside. I had never explored town in the dark yet and found myself nervous every time a car slowed down next to me. No one ever rolled down their window to speak to me luckily. It took roughly an hour to walk to the bad part of the city placing me at a little past midnight.

I walked up to a large crowd of scantily clad women standing in line to enter a club. I scanned the women for the kindest looking one, a brunette with huge tits that was wearing more clothes than most of them.

"Excuse me, do you know where Marly is?" I asked her as nicely as possible. She smiled at me though her eyes looked lost. She must have got something good. Though, she looked almost like she didn't belong here. I could picture her with a small kid or two making a delicious dinner for her husband and snuggling with him on the couch for an action flick after the little ones were put to bed.

"Hehe...Marly. I just saw him earlier at the Pridelands. Not 20 minutes ago...or maybe 2 hours ago." Oh great, she wasn't aware of the time. It was either going to be a hit or a miss with her. I thanked her anyway for indulging me. It was worth a shot.

I walked down the sidewalk after another woman with short black hair pointed me towards the club. The Pridelands had a neon billboard that looked like a watering hole in the savannah. The bouncer stopped me when I was at the door. He was stotic and wore sunglasses even in the dark. Oooh, we got a badarse here!

"Identicfaction." I blushed and pretended to look through my pockets. He glowered at me like he knew I was bullshitting him. I attempted to humour him.

"My friend who I'm trying to talk to must have slipped it out of my pocket. I just need to talk to him. He's inside." The bouncer didn't budge from his spot. I tried to give him pleading eyes. I was desperate for anything to stop the withdrawal from coming.

Just then from the exit of the club I could see a man with long, wavy pink hair who smelled strongly of old lady perfume. Roses! I waved bye to the rude man and called out to Marluxia. He turned around and smiled at me licking his lips.

"What can I do for a cute little dove like you?" The blue eyed man winked at me. Oh, so this is what that guy from Craigslist meant by weirdo. I pulled the roll of money from my wallet and handed it to him. He pulled me under an awning for a liquor store and leaned down to whisper into my ear. His breath was hot and heavy, tickling my ear. I tried to feign innocence hoping to sweet talk him for a generous discount.

"Come to my car, I'll get you something for all your troubles." I shivered as his cold fingers rested on my neck. He smiled wider than the Cheshire. I followed him towards a full parking lot towards a 2006 Audi of silver colour. He unlocked the door and motioned for me to get inside passenger side. I sat on the leather seat and watched him pocket my money before pulling a zip lock bag from his glove compartment. He had at least a dozen bags full of various substances crammed inside. The substance was a white powder that he gently placed on my lap. The bag looked a little more full for the amount I handed him but like hell I'm going to point it out and complain.

He leaned into my ear again, grazing his teeth against the shell. Nope! I bolt up and opened the door, hearing him giggle like a school girl before walking back as fast as I could to the flat. My nerves were to unsettled to humour the dealer. At least I got what I wanted!


	5. Chapter 5

I fished around in my pockets for my keys and I wanted to punch myself when the keys were no where to be found. Like hell I was going to wake Cloud up at 3 in the morning with a bag of coke in my pocket to let me in. I opted for the next best choice and called Sora. It rang 4 times before a sleepy brunet picked up.

"'Loooo...?" He yawned loudly and I heard him shuffle the covers around.

"Sora can you let me in? I kind of locked myself out and I don't want to face the wraith of a bitchy Cloud." I spoke into my cellphone quietly and stood in front of their door. I could hear the brunet stomping around on the other side and he let me in. I walked in behind him and I began petting his 2 cats. They loved everyone...except Sora. He pouted due to my disturbance and we went into his room.

"Before you ask why I'm locked out I just needed some fresh air for a minute and I forgot my key." I lied smoothly and laid out on his bed. I wanted it to be morning already so Cloud would go to work and I could snort up my precious package I paid for. Sora laid down on my neck and used my shoulder as a pillow.

"You're too boney." I didn't even have to see his face to know he was frowning as he tried to get more comfortable. I picked up the remote to his telly and began watching NetFlix. 6 episodes later Cloud texted me asking where I had gone to.

My cellphone was only at 8% battery left but I texted him back. My mind was in motion, turning like clockwork. As soon as Cloud leaves for work I would lock our flat door back, neatly pack a sheet under the door to prevent any fumes from reaching the cranky elderly couple next door and let the fun begin.

Roxas: im in soras room leave the door unlocked key in my room

Cloud: Be safe, don't let anyone break into the apartment or I don't think you'll live to see your 18th birthday.

Cloud had a hilarious way of showing concern. He couldn't imagine those being anything other than empty threats after starting his sentence with be safe. Light was filtering through Sora's window and I looked at his alarm clock. It was 8:26 am. I pried the brunet off my shoulder, replacing my shoulder with a pillow under his head. We didn't spend enough time together considering school started back in a little over 2 weeks. He offered me to hang out with his best friend Riku but I'd rather be alone until school. well, at least unless the withdrawals stop.

I hadn't met Riku yet but Sora would never shut up about him. Riku did this, Riku said that, Riku has this. I've seen dozens of pictures of him already and I see the kid blush every time he mentions the silver haired teenager. Puppy love makes me sick and Sora was every definition of a puppy. It also explains why his cats hate him and use him as a scratching post. Maybe I should just take them off his hands but I don't think Squall would be happy or Cloud...I don't think Cloud likes cats.

Squall was already gone when I left and I sighed contently. It would be awkward for him to stop me and ask when I got inside his flat. What the heck would I say, 'Oh I'm just hiding in here until it's safe to do drugs at home. No fat chance of every having that kind if conversation. I fed and watered his cats, petting them fondly before excitedly walking back to my apartment. I used my old Destiny Islands library card to line up the coke on my desk. It's finally found it's use. I already had a few straws laying about stockpiling for this moment., bad Roxy I know. I felt giddy as I lined the straw up to the powder substance, snorting it strongly up my nose. I coughed one, feeling the burning sensation spread to the back if my throat. I sniffled making sure it all went up as my eyes began to water.

I started as a way of escape. Life was vastly different after my mum died. I didn't like change and it didn't like me either. I could pretend nothing was wrong and go about my life when I was high. I could use it as a way to get to meet other people at social gatherings. I could pretend I wasn't alone that I had the best friends in the world. Seifer, Hayner, Rai and I could sit around a firepit and pass around a few joints for hours in the middle of a school night while threatening each other that someone was going to get pushed it or eat up all the crisps.

I pulled in my phone to let it charge and I turned in my laptop, blasting 21 Pilots. I laid on my bed listening to Kitchen Sink as I kicked off my shorts and briefs. I lay naked on my bed waiting for my high to come as I slowly move my hand against my flat stomach and thighs. I reach for my member and tug at it slowly, imagining a pretty woman with large boobs underneath me. I pump my dick harder and faster. I've never fucked a girl before believe it or not. I was an innocent virgin. There wasn't any girls I was interested in enough to pursue. I imagined that woman's face in front of that nightclub, trying to release myself. I became agitated when nothing came out and my penis became flaccid. I huffed and took a shower, humming softly. Maybe I should get a guitar or something so I could woe over a beautiful girl instead of sitting doing nothing.

I got dressed and texted Sora, letting him know I was coming back over. I carefully hid the bag of cocaine in my tin box behind little trinkets and photographs. I wasn't afraid of Cloud going through my belongings but better safe then sorry. He wouldn't open up my memory tin. It contained personal photographs of my childhood with Hayner. Pictures of us with mouthfuls of pool water then Pence had most likely pissed in, my primary school mother-son dance right before she was diagnosed with cancer and the warm moments of a angry teenage Cloud showing affection towards his kid brother.

It was 10 am when I let myself into the brunet brother's apartment and Sora was nursing a thermos cup of coffee like always. Between Squall and Sora I think they drunk 5 litres at least. I'm surprised neither if them have had a heart attack yet.

"Hey Sora, do you think I could meet your boy toy today?" I asked rather cheerfully. I hoped Sora didn't realize I was on something with my out of character cheerfulness. Sora's face turned as red as a tomato at the mention of Riku. I puckered my lips and made a smooch sound.

"Rox, Riku is my best friend nothing more!" I grinned and rolled my eyes not believing the brunet for even a second. Sora liked Riku it was as obvious as day and night. You can't fool me.

Nevertheless, we were to meet Riku at the park. It was the very same park I went to the first day I arrived. Sora sat on the swing next to me begging the silver haired boy to push him higher. Riku and I exchanged few words between each other but Sora told me that Riku was apparently shy when meeting strangers. I just shrugged and stared at the slide. I wonder who drew all those colourful cocks dripping with juices...

"Probably Larxene and Axel." The taller of Sora and me spoke to me. I hadn't realized I said that out loud. I recognised the name Axel from the slide. I was going to ask who they were but it seemed weird of me to have a fixation with some poorly drawn male anatomy. I got off the swing and climbed to the top of the junglegym, climbing up the roof that wasn't meant to be scaled. I could see rows of house from the height and a forest just behind a tidy row of blue houses.

"Sora, let's go over-"I began but didn't get to finish.

"Roxy, have you ever had sea salt ice-cream?" The cherub brunet asked. I've never even heard of that flavour before so I shook my head.

"We should get some at Cid's!" Riku piped up from the swing I had previously sat on. It was rather humid outside if my shirt sticking to my skin didn't indicate it. So with that said, we walked back to town and I tried sea salt ice cream and fell in love. It was almost as good as that line of coke I had earlier. Almost.


	6. Chapter 6

I had began hanging out with Sora and Riku on a daily basis now. We bonded over sea salt ice-cream and usually bought it every day. Occasionally a red headed girl named Kairi would join us. She was their other best and it was obvious she had a thing for Riku. She constantly felt up his arm muscles and stared at his arse or giggled everything he said something even if it wasn't funny. Poor Sora had to be the third wheel with me for once. Riku sometimes flirted back with her and Sora just smiled like he was oblivious to it all. Riku flirted with Sora too...so I assume he flirted with everyone.

"It's almost back to school we need to do something fun." Sora whined from the floor in front if the air conditioner. It had been extremely sweltering that day and no one wanted to go out and hang out at the park or see another Disney or Dreamworks movie with Sora for the rest of the year. I stumbled over Riku's shoes and landed onto Sora's legs.

I nuzzled up to him and began pulling hairs out of his thick head. He made a face every time a strand was yanked from his head. It was a cute face, scrunched up and irate. He was about to tell Squall on me from the other room. Kairi sat up from her spot on the bed and looked down at us. She really wasn't all that bad looking. Her tits were tiny but she had a pretty face and silky, wine coloured hair. She would have a great personality if everything that came out of her mouth didn't involve Riku. Maybe I'm just biased or picky.

Said silver haired boy was sitting at Sora's laptop playing a video game that he sucked at but kept playing because he just had to. He was clicking the keys and mouse harshly as his warrior on the screen swung a mage staff at a dragon.

"What did you have in mind Sor?" Kairi asked absently as she scrolled through her newsfeed on her FaceBook phone app. I heard Riku mutter under his breath about being out of potions. The blue eyed boy shrugged at his female friend and began pulling my hair out of my scalp. I winced in pain as he tugged at the tender spot on the back of my head. Maybe I was gonna tell Squall in him. I could see his face in my head dusted pink in embarrassment as Leon scolded him to play nice with his guests.

I sat up and smiled at them. "I know something fun." I closed Sora's door. I didn't need Squall overhearing the conversation and telling Cloud. "We can get alcohol." Everyone was silent for a while until Riku jumped up to wrap an arm around my shoulder giving me a flashy smile. He towered over the rest of us by a dozen centimeters but at least I was taller than Kairi...by 1/4th of a centimeter.

"Roxy has a great idea, I likebtge way you think. We should find a party and get drunk off our faces. This is going go be our last year before were adults,we gotta live a little more!" Kairi only agreed because Riku agreed and Sora piped in because everyone else agreed. I felt like a bad influence all over again.

"Are you sure you wanna party with a cripple?" I smirk, gesturing at my bright blue cast. Sora had managed to sign it and doodle cats on it. I had everyone else's names on my leg as well. Even Sora had put his cat's paws in ink and placed them in my cast. It was a mess afterwards because they clawed at him and ran around the carpet smudging non-washable ink everywhere. That was fun to clean up, scrubbing the carpet for 3 hours.

"Of course. It's your idea after all!" Sora chirped out happily and everyone began getting ready. I spent a few minutes getting in touch with one of my new penpals off Craigslist asking if we gave him money if he'd buy us alcohol. He did even better by saying he knew a bouncer that could get us into a bar for free.

It was half past 8 pm, Squall and Cloud were out themselves at a bowling alley. We were suppose to be spending the night at Riku's house but his parents didn't care that he was out late. I texted my contact, a man named Luxord. He met us at the gas station and introduced himself. He had a thick accent that I couldn't place except European and short blond hair. He was somewhere in his early 30s but he didn't mind hanging out with kids.

The club he took us to was none other than The Pridelands and he swung an arm over the bouncer like they were old friends. It's a small world after all.

"Rude! How have ya been lad? These 4 are with me." The blond gestured towards our general direction. The bouncer with the sunglasses, Rude glanced in our direction and smirked slightly when he saw me. I was hoping he had forgotten our encounter the other week. We were let in without another word.

"It's animal night." He mumbled over the music and I almost didn't hear him as we walked inside. My eyes were blinded almost instantaneously by coloured smoke and neon lighting. Someone grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and I almost jumped out if my skin. I glanced to my left seeing Kairi holding onto me tightly. What exactly bison animal night?

"You okay?" I nudged her but my question was drowned out by a popular Nicki Minaj song. I could see cliques of people already. There are groups of people grinding each other on the dance floor, some humping even. Animal night meant most of them were wearing stupid headbands with ears on them and tails looped around their belts. I recognized a few dancers dressed up as lions and hyenas.

The bar was packed, everyone and their mother nursing a drink or two. Most of these people couldn't get into the spirit of animal night either. The bathrooms were flooding in and out with half naked guests pulling up their pants with a satisfied grin or having their shirt ripped off and skin attacked by hungry lips. I was a bit envious at their ability to get laid so easily. Then again, Roxas Strife wasn't an easy fuck!

There was a lounge area past the dance floor, next to the DJ booth. I saw Marly sitting on a black leather sofa wearing a pair of mouse ears doing a deal. He had his long hair up in a high ponytail tonight. I thought about walking over to him but I didn't want the others knowing I did drugs.

I licked my lips and noticed Sora and Riku were no longer behind us. Good, give them some time away from our redhead. I pulled Kairi over to the bar. We found two empty stools and sat down. I waved down the bartender, a woman with long ebony hair.

"Make her some fruity little drink with tequila." Kairi looked like she wanted to protest. "...And I'll have a whiskey shot to get me going." Kairi looked around the bar trying to spot our friends. I distracted her with questions about herself.

"What's your hobbies?" I made small talk with her hoping to get out something she was interested in besides gossip and Riku.

"I'm actually a dancer. I used to do ballet for years before I got into cheerleader. Though, I didn't like competition do I quit. I usually make my own routine and do free-style. It's really quite fun and exhilarating when I perfect a move I couldn't get right a week before.

I listened intently, surprised that she actually had such passion. I honestly wished I had something to strive for that wasn't when the next time I could pump drugs into my system.

"The bartender is decent enough the drinks came within a reasonable time." I commented, feeling the effects already.

"How dare they abandon us, we got to stick together. We were suppose to party." Kairi looked a little put out by the fact they went off to do their own thing. I shrugged and watched Marluxia walk towards the dance floor. I was going to make it my personal mission before he left to buy something from him.

6 shots later I was very much so feeling the affects rushing to my head. Kairi only had 3 cocktails but she was stumbling over me and hugging me. At least she didn't talk about Riku anymore. I held her up the best I could, letting her lean on me as I guided us around to look for the others. Sora and Riku emerged from off the dance floor sweating and laughing. They both were wearing a stupid animal headband.

"You guys look gay." I slurred and snatched off Riku's headband putting it on myself. Sora and Kairi burst into giggles. I pulled out my phone and proceeded to talk a selfie with them. Memories so I wouldn't forget!


	7. Chapter 7

I wasn't sure of the time anymore but we were all stumbling and shitfaced. I had to go piss badly and I think I just stepped on someone's hand but it might have been a penis.

"Sorry! Coming through!" I stepped over limps and walked into the men's bathroom. It stunk like vomit, piss and sex in here. The walls were covered in graffiti among other strange stains that I hope weren't blood or semen. I could hear wanton moaning from one of the stalls.

"Fuck! Oh God, I'm coming again!" I blushed slightly and looked down at the cracked floor titles. Someone stepped up to the urinal next to me even though their were others available. I saw pink out of the corner of my eye and looked up.

"Marly!" I was almost excited when it was him, momentarily forgetting how he tried to come onto me in his car.

"Little dove, I noticed you watching me this whole night." He flipped his hair. At least the aroma of roses overwhelmed the nasty bathroom stank. Wait, did he follow me in here? "I got something else for you tonight, much better." He handed me a bag. There was a few packaged needles inside the baggie. I looked up at him wide eyed unsure of what exactly it was. I had never injected any kind if drugs, only smoked it snorted and maybe orally ingested a few strange pills from Seifer once or twice.

I pulled out my wallet and handed him a roll of money. Luckily Cloud saw fit to give me an allowance every week so I could go out with Sora or buy food. I'd been saving it up since I last busted Marluxia. I wanted to ask for his cellphone number so I could meet up with him and not just run into him by chance. If he was reading my mind he pulled out a pen and grabbed my arm, writing down a cell number.

"Call me when you need your next fix cutie pie." The flamboyant man skipped away like he came from the land of rainbows and puppies or some shit. I pocketed the bag and washed my hands in the stained sink, checking out my appearance in the mirror. I looked like a scared little kid. I wanted to go home.

I checked the dance floor for any sign of Sora it Riku. It was hella hard to see over all these taller people. Some jackass pushed me into a silver haired man. It wasn't Riku but the pretty man grabbed my ass and giggled. Fuckin' hell. I managed to find Sora at the lounge of all places talking to a shirt haired woman. She looked familiar but I couldn't place it.

"Sora let's ditch this popsicle stand!" I shouted over the music and grabbed his arm. He waved goodbye to his new friend.

"Where is Ri and Kai?" I shook my head. I didn't know where they were. All of a sudden the music stopped and people began panicking. Oh, what now? I sighed. People began shouting.

"It's the popo!"

"Get the fuck out if the way!" A woman was pushed to the floor and trampled on. People were shoving to escape into the alleyway. Sora and exchanged looks of pure horror and he grabbed my hand roughly, dragging me across the floor almost. We pushed through the crowd into the crisp summer night. I could see flashing lights through my blurred vision and we ran onto the sidewalk.

Like hell I was going to be caught drunk with illegal drugs in my pocket. Sora climbed over a chain link fence and yelled at me.

"Roxy, our brothers will kill us!" I knew that dammit. This cast made it hard for me to climb over. Someone grabbed my shoulder and I turned around bewildered. It was Marluxia!

"My car is just past that fence down the alleyway. I'll help you," I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and the drug dealer hoisted me over the fence. Sora hugged me tightly and the older man gracefully clambered over it, guiding us quickly to his car. We backed into the shadows as a patrol car drive past us.

We finally got to the safety of Marluxia's car, sliding into the back seat. There was someone already in the passenger seat waiting. He had long dirty blond hair and a scowl on his face.

"Vex! How did you get here so fast?" Marluxia prodded the man's shoulder and carefully backed up so not to hit any pedestrians trying to escape from the club.

"It's about damn time, if I get caught I'll lose my job!" He bitched at the pink haired man. I wonder if Riku and Kairi made it out safely. I looked towards Sora and he looked back at me, cracking a grin until he laughed. I chuckled with him until their were tears coming out if both of our eyes. Even Marly began giggling. The oldest man in the car looked between us and growled. "What the fuck is so funny?"

We were dropped off at Riku's house and waited on the front porch for any signs of Kairi or Riku. We texted and called them but no answer.

"Maybe their phones are just dead." Sora said to reassure himself. I spent 45 minutes picking at my cuticles until a tired Kairi walked up the driveway looking disheveled. She sat down with us and we waited for Riku.

"Are you okay? Did you see Riku by any chance?" Sora git up and hugged her tightly. I felt bad that I didn't hug her but I wasn't much into affections. It is a Strife family thing with the men, can't parade around our weaknesses unless we want a tongue lashing from each other.

It was 3 am before we saw a patrol car pull down the street. I held my breathe as it slowly rolled to a halt.

"Shit, hide!" We ran into the bushes, kneeling in prickly leaves and roots."Your hair better not give us away!" I whisper to Sora. Kairi did us all a favour and attempted to hold down the brunet's spikes with her hands. Our worst fears were confirmed when the car pulled into the driveway.


	8. Chapter 8

Riku was in the back of the patrol car. The officer escorted the teenager to the front door in handcuffs. Shit, I couldn't believe he got caught! I should have went back for him. Sora and Kairi must have been thinking the same thing as they quietly whispered about it. I could herar yelling coming from the front porch. It wasn't a good idea to stay here with the police.

A twig snapped under my foot as I tried moving towards the back of the house. Nope! Nope! I hobbled into the dark, nervous beyond my wits. Sorry Sor but I couldn't get caught now. My leg burned with every step but I ignored it until I went back into town. Every car that went by I ducked under trees. I felt like I wasn't getting very far at all. It was dawn by the time I found myself alone in a secluded part of Twilight Town. I was able to keep going by pretending I was a wanted criminal escaping from a top security prison as lane as that sounds.

The roads were paved with bricks and there were street lamps adorning every block. I stopped at a bench to rest my aching leg and check my phone. Shit! It was dead. I looked towards the buildings trying to recognize some type of landmark. There was a boutique and an office across the road but nothing striked me as eye catching until I looked past the sunrise in the back towards a clock tower.

The large hands read in gorgeously painted Roman numerals that it was 6:57. I had been walking for almost 3 hours since leaving Riku's! I cringed inwardly and began walking down the street towards the tower. It seemed tall and lonely, the perfect place to overlook the town so I could find out where the hell I was or do something devious to calm my frayed nerves.

Sweat rolled down my forehead as the sun came further out. I huffed and leaned up against the architecture of the beautiful building. There was an opened archway that led to flights if stairs. I let out a not so manly whimper as I grabbed the railing and dragged my feet. This was torture every step I took up. Why the bloody hell wasn't there an elevator?!

I finally reached the top of the clock and laid down in the shade. The clouds were rolling across the morning sky, and I tried looking for shapes. There was a pizza slice riding on a motorcycle and I chuckled a little bit. Okay enough , clearly I was in the safe zone. I sat up and looked at my bag. It was a clear liquid, most likely heroin. I opened the bag and laid out all the accessories Marluxia had bagged for me me. There was a few q-tips cut in half and a rubber band to tie around my arm.

I have watched Seifer inject himself loads before I knew the air had to be tapped out before injecting. I didn't have a fear of needles thankfully and I was rather morbid when I was at the doctor's. I would watch the blood fill the syringe and filter into the capsule. I couldn't help it I was fascinated by my own blood. I didn't like seeing my father's blood that night but my own made me giddy.

I filled the needle all the way and tapped the syringe. I hope I was doing this correctly. I looked at the cotton sticks wondering what the use of them was. I shrugged tiredly and tied the band around my arm, pumping my fist a few minutes until my veins appeared under my skin.

I hissed between my teeth as I stuck the tip into my vein, injecting the drug. I felt a light heat sensation but nothing else as my heart hammered through my chest. I was excited to be trying new things but also scared of failure. I cleaned up the mess putting everything back my pocket. I watched a droplet of blood escape the tiny whole in my arm. That wasn't so bad for my first time but only time could tell if it was something I'd do again.

I laid back down waiting for the effects of the drug affects to my body. If you laid flat, it would kick in sooner than later. The pain in my leg was almost gone instantaneous. My head felt foggy and the colour of my vision began blurring. I sat up or at least I think I did. Were these really my hands? I looked at the picked off skin around my nails. Gross, why did I pick that habit up in the first place?

I rubbed my eyes and noticed someone stood over me. My jaw dropped as I stared back at myself. I'd notice those tired, irate sapphire blue orbs from anywhere. He had my hair style and facial features. He was me but wasn't me either. He smirked at me, ruffling my hair lightly.

"Why are you even still around? Don't you know Zack wasn't meant to die? They were happier without you. You're a selfish little dickwad." The boy sat down next to me and looked expectantly at me. "Oh, heh! How rude of me, I'm Ventus."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. This boy, Ventus, how did he know about Zack? Was Cloud hiding a secret evil twin brother from me?

"If only you didn't take forever to get ready, Zack wouldn't have been running late to the airport and got hit. They were going to be together forever. You made Cloud lose everything he worked so hard to achieve." My eyesight blurred even further as those words struck me. I knew Cloud wished it had been me that died instead of his handsome, goofy boyfriend. "You should inject the rest of that angel dust or jump off this tower. You'd end it all for sure. Cloud wouldn't have to worry about a self entitled brat like you. He wishes you more more like Sora."

"Fuck!" I yelled and grabbed at my hair. I knew it was my fault, if only I had been a better son and brother. I'm a useless waste of space! I hit the ground once then twice as I went into autopilot. Sora had everything! He had amazing friends, a loving brother, adorable cats, good grades and his parents weren't dead! My knuckles were split open with fresh blood oozing in thick streams. It didn't hurt so why do I care? I wish I didn't care anymore...

"I wouldn't wait if I were you, the sooner the better!" Ventus chirped, standing up.

"Yo, I heard yelling." I barely heard the voice call out to me. I looked up seeing Ventus walk towards the intruder. He was tall, maybe even taller than Zack was with bright fire truck red hair. Like actually red, not like Kairi's dark wine red. What drew my attention was his green eyes almost like acid and intricate tattoos below his eyelashes. Actually, I take that back his tattoos were stupid. Who has upside down teardrops on your face!?

"Er..." I wasn't expecting anyone to come up here. Ventus waved goodbye from behind the redhead and he vanished into nothing. The tall man acted like the blond was never there! I stood awkwardly and shuffled from foot to foot.

"What the...were you trying to break your hands or something?" The tattooed man glared me blooded hands."You should stop the bleeding before you die from blood loss." I knew it wasn't enough blood to die from and somehow I knew that he knew that at the casual tone if his voice. He grated on my nerves interrupting everything. "What are you on man?"

"Be quiet, don't talk to me." I tried to keep my voice even but it was laced with annoyance. He took a step towards me then another. I tried to step back.

"You're getting blood all over my favourite place to sit. If the poor little kid's gonna jump then do it or I'll push ya." He grabbed my arm firmly and when I tried to yank it away, his grip became tighter. He glanced into my eyes as if searching for something. I ripped my arm from his cool hands and fell onto my ass. The bag of angel dust as Ventus called it burst in my back pocket. I yanked the bag out before it seeped through the fabric of my shorts.

"Damn...I spent a lot of money." I pouted and threw the useless bag over the edge of the clock tower.

"Drugs and littering. That's gonna look real nice on your record. My bro is a fuzz." Fuck him. Why did he choose me to bother of all people? I just want...I don't even know what I want! I stood up and walked towards the edge of the tower to look down at the ground. I would surely end my life. The redhead didn't push me like he threatened he would. Instead he pulled me towards him and dragged me down the stairs. "Go home kid, clean up, get sober and don't come back."

I could feel his eyes on me as I wobbled down the sidewalk. I wasn't sure if he actually cared it but I didn't look back. I was afraid I would turn around and punch him too. My hands didn't need the stress of hitting flesh to add onto what would hurt like a bitch later.

I thought I heard footsteps behind me but there was never anything following me when I poked my head around my shoulder. My phone still had a decent charge and I was bummed out about today's events so I texted Luxord to meet up. He had made it out if the club safely just as I had and gave me a salute. He brought the bandage like I asked and began wrapping my hands in gauze neatly. I gave him a but if munny and he slipped a bag of weed towards me as we exchanged glances before heading out own ways.

I walked back to the flat after stopping to ask for directions. My mind wandered to Ventus and the stranger. Who did he think he wasn't bossing me around and making empty threats? I'm going to go back to the clock tower just to spite him. Ain't no one with retarded facial tattoos going to order me around like a dog!


	9. Chapter 9

I didn't have any time to arrange a deal with Marluxia the following week as I shopped for school supplies with Cloud. It was tough explaining what happened to my hands when I had came home. I wasn't sure if he bought my excuse but he didn't say otherwise.

"Hey Rox, you want this Spongebob folder?" Thwack. I was assaulted in the face by a happy, bright sponge going jelly fishing on the front of a folder. I must have made a face because my brother laughed quietly. Spongebob was literal cancer and I picked out a folder that was black and white checkered.

Riku had gotten grounded for an unknown period of time and Sora was pouting because all he could do was text him until school. I'll give him credit because he didn't squeal on us even though it was my idea. I got him caught I should have never suggested it. I was a selfish little cunt leaving Sora and Kairi in the the bushes that night. They had went to the red haired girl's house for a few hours wondering where I had ran off to.

My leg was sore for a few days and I tried not to use it as much settling between Sora's cats to play Super Smash Brothers with the brunet. He insisted on being Pikachu every time. I was getting bored of swinging my sword at the electric mouse only for it to have used agility to dodge the blade. Sora made the yellow pixels taunt me and I growled at that happy-go-lucky pipsqueak.

I threw a bomb while he was idle, unable to interrupt the taunt and blew him off the stage. His last stock was gone and I smiled as the mouse flew into the background until it was no more. Link was announced the winner and I chugged down my lemonade.

Our last days were always like this. Play video games, watch Netflix, go see a movie or sleep. Sora called me half a dozen times before I awoken one morning. He talked animatedly into the phone, cheerful and bubbly. I was still trying to figure out if it was morning or evening.

"Riku texted me that he liked me! I already told Kairi! Do you think I'll be able to see him before school starts or do you think he'll take me in a romantic date? Should he buy me flowers or...or should I buy him flowers?!" I held the phone away from my ear and smiled. It was about time! I've only known them a month and I was getting annoyed by no progression between them.

"I told you he's your boy toy." I was happy for them I really was. My face fell and I sighed. When was I going to find someone? Would they die like everyone else in my life? I didn't deserve anyone because I'm a selfish scumbag that would contemplate life over a few drugs. I changed my mind, I didn't want anyone to go through pain when I decided it was my time.

I licked my lips just thinking about injecting my veins with the sweet nectar of my death. That jackass made me waste what I had the other day. I felt like crying at how broke I'd become between Sora and my unhealthy addiction. I didn't need this right now and I went to go make a sandwich to distract myself.

Kairi called me at around 2 asking if I could meet her at the mall to talk. I knew what she wanted to say before I even arrived at the food court. I sat down across from her and she smiled.

Maybe I had been mean to Kairi in the past but at this moment I felt guilty for always giving her a hard time. She couldn't help who she liked. Tomorrow we had our 1st day of senior year and she didn't want to go after realizing she was going to be a third wheel. I had to remind her that I didn't like anyone and they hadn't even asked each other out yet just confessed. She bought me a fountain drink and we walked around the mall talking about our favourite stores.

"I need more female friends since I haven't seen Namine this whole summer." Naming was a petite blond in our grade who has been on vacation for a few months. Her family was well off and took cruises every summer. "You'd like her cuz she's quiet and sweet plus she's a excellent artist. Though, her brother is kind of a punk."

"Does he go to our school too?" I hear all these names but I didn't have faces to put them to.

"Nah, Dem is in college. He's got his own band though. He's kind of cute but I'm 99 percent sure he's gay. Why are all the cute ones gay?" Dem? That name was on the slide. Axel's bitch. He probably is a bitch then.

"I'm not gay." I was straight as far as I knew but I have no problem with homosexuals! My brother was a flaming homosexual after all.

"Sure but..." She didn't believe me.

"Am I not cute enough for you?" I mockingly gasped and placed my hand over my chest."You've wounded me Kai!"

"Weirdo are you sure you're not gay. You didn't say you were straight." I rolled my eyes. I'll let her think what she wants. I liked big bouncing breasts not that she had any. Her loss, I was fabulous. Maybe. Well not really but she doesn't know that.

It was late in the day when I left Kairi. I didn't want to go back home yet. My last day of freedom was today. I could just not go but Sora and the others would be sad if I didn't join them. I probably would lose resolve to go within a month or two so I wasn't worried. I could drop out if I wanted to.

I found myself up at the clock tower again. I was hoping to see that prick from before. I played a card game on my phone as my legs dangled over the edge. The sun was setting, painting the sky in streaky warm colours. I guess it was by chance he had cane up here. The blood from my hands had stained the concrete underneath me. Maybe he didn't come back because I ruined his spot?

"What are ya doin' here again? Did you come just to see my sexy face?" I didn't look at me but I could imagine the smirk gracing his thin lips. He struck a cord when he asked if I came to see him but he was not sexy! He sat down next to me eating something. It was sea salt ice cream from Cid's. I watched him lick some off his hand."See something you like?"

Ugh, this guy had an ego. He reminds me of Seifer without drugs. I crossed my arms and glared at him. He only cackled in response, finishing off the rest of his treat. He slung his arm over my shoulder and wipped his sticky fingers on my shirt.

"So...I've never seen ya around before...are you an alien by any chance?" I gave him a deadpanned look. He just continued smiling at me like nothing was wrong. I almost would forgive him for man handling me and bring a total asshat because of his nice smile. Wait, why the hell do I think that? I'll knock his teeth out then he'll have a hideous smile.

"No...I moved here after my brother finished college."

"Oh! Did he go to Twilight Community?" His eyes held a spark inside them. I was the strange new kid on the block. He almost took it upon himself to give me a hug but I scooted away.

"Destiny University." I nibbled my lips. Can I go now? He makes me uncomfortable I don't know why.

"Bah, my school is way better than that expensive hellhole. Reno went there and he's just as dumb as me." He stood up and stretched before ushering me up as well.

I fell quiet not knowing else to add. He seemed to be doing most of revealing for them but it wasn't a crazy hyperactive conversation like Sora. He was laid-back about it and didn't ask 5 questions in one mouthful.

"My name is Axel, got it memorized?" His hand was held out as if he expected me to shake it. When I made no move he grabbed it and shook it firmly. Damn, his grip was strong. He was so lanky I didn't think he had it in him but he was wearing long sleeves so what do I know what I can't see?

He waved goodbye and headed down the stairs. I stood in a daze, watching his ass. Why did I suddenly like him so much? Maybe it was because he was different than everyone else as cliche as it sounds. Wait, he said his name was Alex...no Axel?" Oh wow, that's the name from the slide. Dem is his bitch. Well if he thinks I'm going to be one of his bitches he's out of his mind.


	10. Chapter 10

The first week of school past by slowly to my distaste. Twilight High wasn't as bad as I thought it wasn't going to be when I got my schedule. I was behind by a few credits due to all the school I missed at Destiny Island but Cloud enrolled me in an after school program. I thought I would have found myself annoyed by staying behind 2 extra hours but it worked out to my advantage.

Riku's parents had given up their resolve to keep the active teenager grounded his senior year. I chalked it up to the fact he was ass kissing by washing his father's car and going through all the storage boxes in their loft. The sea-green boy stayed after school on most occasions as well because of his interest in sports and social clubs. He was eager to join the school's rugby team one last year and hold down a spot on the swim team or the track and field out of playoff season.

Said male filled with more testosterone that Sora and I combined managed to drag me into a club meeting the only day of the school week that I had free time away from my credit recovery courses.

"Rox, please man you don't understand. Sor can't join this club with me, he's cute and all but he'll drive everyone to suicide or at least be a battery in our suicide." Harsh, I thought the brunet's never ending adorable face got him brownie points with Riku's friends. Word had spread around like wild fire that he was trying to get into the youngest Leonhart's pants. Well, I didn't word it like that the rumours did.

"What about-"

"This is a man's club, Kairi can't join."

"Awe, do you not want her cooties?" I chuckled at the face Ri made. If I would have known he batted for the same team I could have teased him about it sooner. Sora's friends really weren't as bad as I made them out to be. They all had their endearing moments. They reminded me a lot of what I had going for me before I fucked everything up with my old group.

The club that Riku had been so secretive about was Video Gaming Club. Of all things for him to be embarrassed about was hanging out with a bunch of geeky boys that had slipped under the radar to make a non-academic club. I highly doubt these guys weren't expanding their vast knowledge of the world by giving themselves carpal tunnel and becoming acquainted with orcs or Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Even though it was for video games; some were playing tabletop games, reading western comic books or Japanese manga and watching anime.

I smirked and reached up towards Riku's ear. "You're secret is safe with me that you enjoy hanging out with these dorks." The thought was actually sweet that he wanted me to take a break from my workload and chill with some gamers. Sora really knew how to pick them and I could see why Kairi liked him. I would have been jealous of the brunet if it wasn't for the fact he was still up on the table as single. Not that I would go out if my way and seduce them because I'm straight.

I really need to stop following up every gay thought with the fact I only liked women. I was comfortable enough in my skin to admit Riku was attractive and not have to convince myself it sounded homosexual of me. Ugh, maybe I should talk to Cloud about this but then he would give me a talk and misunderstand me! In the past I've gotten the safe sex with others boys due to a lack of communication. I was utterly horrified when one winter break Cloud came home during his second year of college because my dad thought I was rubbing one out with Hayner to give me a talk.

Riku walked me home every day since we both stayed after. Even though he lived 20 minutes away from my apartment he never made a big deal about it because most of the time he saw Sora in the complex's garden with Squall.

"Riku!" Sora skipped towards us with dirt covered hands. He was about to tackle his crush but was stopped by Squall.

"Sora, c'mon and help me carry these bags of sod this one has a hole in it." Riku sighed in relief when Sora skipped back over to the garden to help his brother. I could see Sora planting flowers but it was hard imagining the tall and muscular of the two brunets tending to an array of colourful plants.

That night I found myself eating caramelized apple slices and watching Game of Thrones. Kairi had made them for me as a thank you for helping her with her with a video for her YouTube channel. All I had to do was film and edit it. She did most of the hard stuff by being on camera to do a dance routine with her younger sister Shiki. They shared the same hair colour except Kairi's eyes were violet while Shiki's were brown.

There was a knock on our door. I figured Cloud would answer it. They knocked again. Ugh.

"Cloud get it!" I shouted from my bed. When they knocked a third time I pushed my laptop off my stomach and stomped towards the door. I looked through the peephole seeing Terra of all people. He lived way back in Destiny Islands! I opened the door and the dark brown haired male smiled and waved.

"Hey squirt, is Cloudy here?" He peeked inside the apartment.

"Obviously not if he didn't open the door."

"Oh...do ya know where he ran off too? "

"He is probably out with Squall." The probably were at an art museum or at a bowling lane.

"Is that his new boyfriend?"

"No! They went to college together with Zack. Cloud still loves your brother!" I got defensive. Cloud and Squall weren't like that. They were friends only! It would be weird...

"I just was in town doing a guest lecture at the college as a favour and I wanted to give y'all your invite to Aqua's and my wedding in person." He scratched the back of his head and handed me an envelope. They picked a date already. I noticed he had a slight blush to his cheeks. "Oh yah, you both can bring a plus one. A date or something it's okay if Cloudy's got a new lover. He needs someone to get over the past, Zack would want the best for him and be happy."

"Can I talk to you for a minute, come in and sit please?" I pulled out 2 water bottles and handed him one.

Terra gave me an unsure look but smiled at sat on the couch across from me.

"Is everything okay squirt?" I didn't know the blue eyed journalist that well but he was closest to Zack besides Cloud. He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Do you...do you wish it was me instead if Zack. Sometimes I think Cloud wishes it had been but don't tell him I told you that."

"Jeez, Aqua is always better at comforting people than me but...Roxas, they both love you. Zack was looking forward to being your brother-in-law. He adored you...honestly you were like a son to him. Cloud is your blood and his last bit of family. You gotta bond not even Zack could replace. I know he was my brother but I'm not trying to sound heartless...you can replace a boyfriend but not a brother. I think about the past all the time but I would never wish the same on anyone else." I listened to him carefully. He was a motivational speaker who often went to schools to talk about his past life. It was knowledge even I knew Zack's older brother used to be a drug addict.

Maybe I should confine in him about that to. I chewed on my lip and nodded. I felt bad because I didn't pay much attention to him even though he was trying to reassure me about what Cloud thought about me.

"I gotta go squirt and I promise I won't say a word to Cloud. You tell him when you're ready." I He threw away the empty bottle and I saw him to the door. I felt lost. I didn't want to tell anyone I knew about my problems. It should be someone who's opinion of me didn't matter.


	11. Chapter 11

I found out Kari's friend Namine worked at Cid's Ice-cream Parlour one Sunday afternoon. She was behind the counter bobbing her head and humming softly to some cutesy pop song. She was wiping down the glass where it had fogged due to the cold temperature. I only knew it was her cuz of her name tag on her blouse.

She hadn't noticed I walked in the rather empty storefront and blushed when she looked up. I guess she was embarrassed she was caught enjoying a Taylor Swift song? She replaced her blush with a sweet smile. It was my turn to blush when the blonde girl asked me how my day was.

"Hi there, welcome to Cid's!" Namine waved happily.

"Um, you're brother is Dem right?"

"That's right!"

"Does he know anyone named Axel?"

"Yup! They've been bestfriends for years. Why?"

"Do you know where I could find him?" I asked nervously.

"Hmm," she leaned over the counter in deep thought,"Probably on campus but he might be at home or playing a gig. Demy and him have a show coming up this weekend."

"Oh! Do you know where at?"Axel was in a band?

"Traverse Town," Fuck another city? I don't think I'll be able to walk,"It's a concert hall." She must be a mind reader.

"We're hiring if you're interested." The cute girl pulled out a small packet of paper from a drawer.

"Can't with this cast." I pointed to my leg. She peered over the counter on her tip-toes and looked down. Her face fell but she became optimistic suddenly.

"Fill it out anyway so when you get your cast off Cid can just pull it. I'll remind him." She exchanged numbers with me. I tucked my phone back into my pocket.

"Not to be rude but...Kairi said your family was wealthy so why are you working here?"

"Job experience plus I get to give background the community. It's always nice to see everyone's face light up when they try a new flavour." I could see the look in hers eyes. She was going to go places unlike the rest of us. Actually, maybe just me.

"Anyway, I got to get back to work I don't want to slack away it's not right." We waved our goodbyes with the promise of me getting ice cream next time I came in. The sky looked cloudy all of a sudden. Maybe it would cool down a bit.

I walked out of the store with a tidbit of information I could squeeze without reaching stalker status. I was just curious about these people that's all. I live in the same town as they've might as well know who's who. I didn't just ask about that tall motherfucker! I asked about his bitch to but the only reason I asked about Demyx was so I could get onto the topic about Axel! Maybe I'll ask Demyx about Namine if I ever meet him. That's fair.

I looked on my phone GPS for Traverse Town. It's nestled between the a liquor store named HardTop and a pharmacy just down the street from the college. Said college was a good hour walk from my current location but Axel must have a car since the clock tower was even further. Why the fuck do I keep thinking about that creep?

Things weren't looking good for me as it started to drizzle. This wasn't in the forecast! It was suppose to be sunny all weekend! I sulked as the rain began pouring down harder, smacking my face with harsh droplets of precipitation. A car sped past through a particularly deep puddle drenching me even further.

"Fuck you man!" I shouted out to car, furious. The car stopped and turned around. Oooooh, well fuck me. I'm dead. Some hulking enraged dunderhead is going to come out and rip my intestines out my nose and tie them in a bow around my neck. The window if the car rolled down and I spotted a familiar hair of blond spikes.

"Do you need a ride potty mouth?" It was Cloud, my hero! Wait, when did he get a car? It wasn't Squall's. He had a dingy old pick up truck dating back almost as old as Sora.

"Where did you get this sweet ride?" I stared in awe at the 2016 Ford Fusion.

"Car dealership while you were skipping out on your homework. You going to get in? Don't worry about soaking the seats I'll dry it later."

"No, I think I'll just stand under the rain and melt,." I threw my hands up over my head and began to crinkle my body,"Aaah, I'm melting!"

"Get in before you get sick," He looked at me amused,"Maybe you should take theatre classes next semester."

I got into the passenger side smiled at the face he had been listening to Metallica. Humanity's faith rested on the hands of my brother. He turned the air vents towards me, blasting my skin with much needed heat.

"Where's your umbrella?" He said as I went to buckle himself up. He already bought one of those scented car things that hang from the mirror. It was vanilla but all I smelled was the other powering of new leather. He should have got new car smell because it didn't make any difference.

"I didn't think I would need it."

"Always come prepared." He turned on his turn signal at the intersection.

"Okay all-knowing rain cloud, where's your umbrella?"

"...I didn't grab it because-" He started but I interrupted him with a much needed scolding.

"No excuses hypocrite!" Cloud 0, Roxas 1.

I watched the window wipers shield us from incoming rain. It let up a little bit as soon as we pulled into a fast food restaurant. Sonic!

"Pick anything you want, make sure you get plenty." I groaned in ecstasy thinking about the chicken strip combo. Greasy, fattening food that was heavenly. I could eat whatever I wanted and keep my figure due to my recreational activities. Sora is always complaining how he'll get an even rounded face if he were to indulge himself like I do. I think it's because all of the cinema popcorn and fountain drinks that went straight to his arse

"Can you drop me off at the college?" I batted my eyelashes and tried to make myself look innocently cute like Sora does to Squall when he wants something.

"Oh?"

"I'm looking for someone. Word through the grapevine is that he goes to TCC."

"Who is it?

"No one you'd know."

"Keeping secrets are we?" The conversation ended as a brown haired girl cane out on roller blades carrying our food. He tipped her well and be sat in silence eating. Cloud covered his food in ketchup and I wrinkled my nose at the icky smell wafting through my sinuses.

"How's working with Squall? Terra thought you-" It was much to soon to ask. It was a sore topic and if Cloud ever hinted he liked Sora's brother he'd say something to me wouldn't he? Hell, I didn't even know Squall's sexuality. The brunet with the facial scar never mentioned a girlfriend or boyfriend. Most of the cheesy pictures hung in his apartment were of his parents and Sora. A few dated to college when Zack was still alive.

I remember a particular picture stuck inside a frame sitting at Squall's desk in his room. It was during their freshman year before Zack and Cloud officially began dating. Squall stood with a smile wearing a thin wool knit sweater and beanie with thick horn rimmed glasses that could only be described as wannabe hipster. Next to him stood Cloud wearing a sleeveless sweater vest over a long sleeve button up. Cloud was pushing Zack into the large water fountain in front of Destiny University. Zack was in the process of failing into the chilly water but he had the largest grin of them all even though he must have been freezing in the late November weather wearing a tank top and khaki cargo shorts. The last person in the photo was Sephiroth dressed down in a dapper blazer and dress pants. He was trying to avoid Zack's flailing and recoil of water. They all had bright eyes and looked happy as can be.

"It's better than the job I had back at Destiny Islands. Less dull of a workplace. I don't sit at a desk doing boring paperwork all the time..." I listened to him talk about the insane antics Squall proceeded to do to the new guy on their floor. Who knew Squall could be mean? I couldn't picture the grown man who sits in the dirt with his little brother and sings to the seeds he plants actually terrorizing the idiot blond cross from his cubicle just because he spilled coffee over a comic book. Said comic book was actually Cloud's but Squall had been reading it during his break. The new guy, Snow Villiers was clumsy and had the tact of a 5 year old. Apparently he knocked Squall's coffee over the latest issue of Deadpool. He had been more upset then Cloud was over the comic.

The ran had stopped to a slow drizzle and my stomach was content with the Oreo milkshake I had just finished after my chicken strips. The car to a stop in the parking lot of Twilight Community College. There was a surprisingly good amount of people out in the weather. Most were dancing in the rain to celebrate the weekend all nighter they pulled trying go write their 50 page essay or their mundane work load of 4 math classes back to back.

"Do you want me to come get you?"

"Nope, I'll be home in time to get decent rest. I'll charm someone with my amazing personality to get a ride."

"Be careful and don't accept any drinks from any science majors!" He called out the window. I watched his new car pull away until I was positive he wasn't coming back to mother me. I walked down the pathway trying to figure what to look for. I couldn't just burst into the dorms and ask the RA if an Axel lived there. I didn't have a student ID to open a few of the buildings. I checked my phone contacts to see if anyone would know anything. My lack of contacts of passed high school age prevented me from asking anyone if they knew the campus layout.

A few of the students waved politely to me and I wonder if they knew I didn't belong. There were no familiar faces and I was just about to ask another student when a half hour of searching had already rolled around. Then I heard it. The sound of a rock group playing from inside the music building. Normally I would have brushed it off but the melody was bitchin'. I at least wanted to hear them play for a bit after all my trouble.

I walked into the building quietly and just the 3rd room down was my target. The door was wide open and the desks were pushed aside to make room for a drum set and a few amplifiers. I watched through the doorway grateful that their setup had their backs towards the door. I noticed the bright mop of long, spikes of red colour when a playful laugh escaped his lips. He punched a blond with his hair styled into a mullet in the shoulder and teasingly groped his arse receiving a embarrassed chuckle from the blond.

There was another blond man sitting behind the drum set and a woman with dark hair leaning over an electric keyboard.

"We are so going to make 'em drop dead this Saturday!" Unknown blond said with zeal.

"If they're dead who's gonna cheer us on?" The only girl asked.

"I can get Zexy to come he's our number 1 fanboy." Demyx gushed.

"Well drop him dead too." The drummer rebutted.

"Tidus! Nooooo!" Demyx whined as if he was offended by the other blond.

"Nah, he's you're number 1 fanboy Demyx. He could give less a shit about the rest of the lot." Axel smirked and blew a raspberry at him.

The girl turned around to grab a water bottle from her bag and that's when she looked up in my direction. I stood wide eyed like a deer in headlights.

"We already have a small crowd and audience guys!" She ushered her band mates to look up at the doorway.

"Hey there! You like our music?" Mullet boy grabbed my hand and dragged me over towards them.

"Well, well, well! Hey blondie you found me! I knew you were lusting after me." Axel spoke over his group, winking at me.

"He's so little and cute! Are you a freshman?" I scowled when the girl teased me. I'm not little and I'm sure in the hell not cute! I crossed my arms and glowered at them. Of course Axel's friends were psychopaths just like him.

"Rinoa, don't patronize the kid," Tidus pinched my cheek."You're right he is tiny! Whaddya like 5'3? Aww, he's pouting!"

"He's actually jailbait." JAILBAIT? I gave Axel the dirtiest look I could manage considering they were obnoxious and my clothes were still damp.

"You guys are the worst band I've heard in my entire lifetime. Grow the fuck up." I growled. I was really only upset because my personal boundaries have been reached yet again by strangers and they were teasing me but they're asshats! Demyx looked as if he wanted to cry as his lip jutted out and he put down his guitar softly. Are you fucking kidding me? He looked like a kicked puppy. I felt something...was this guilt? Dammit.

"I'll go to your stupid concert this weekend." I mumbled but it was enough for the blond to scoop me up in a bear hug.


	12. Chapter 12

I sat on the living room couch doing Spanish homework the following Thursday evening. Cloud was working late in the office again. He's been clocking in serious overtime hours this week. I hope we weren't running low on funds. I know dad didn't leave us any money hidden away and the only thing in his will was the house and its contents. Maybe I do need that job Namine offered me but...it would be until after Christmas when I get this damn cast off my leg.

Tuesday I had went in for a checkup and they replaced my blue cast with another colour of my choice. I happily chose a green cast. Sora damn near threw a fit when he saw my old cast had been cut off. It had been his claim on me. What a dork. I actually requested to keep the old thing because all my friends had sighed it. I made room in the drawer under my bed to put the cast I had grown fond of in. In the back of my mind I silently wished he'd scribble on this one too.

I couldn't concentrate on Spanish Adjectives and it wasn't just because I was watching some Tyler Perry movie. I had visited Luxord or Marluxia nearly every night so far running my funds through the ground. I already went through Sora's floral patterned piggy bank and Cloud's wallet we he wasn't looking. I took a puff of my joint and giggled at the telly when a scene from the film had the woman push her newly disabled ex-husband out of his wheelchair and into a full tub of water. He deserved it though because he was an abuse dickhead that also cheated on her. He should have been damn lucky she was feeding him and batheing him due to the fact his new vixen stole all his money.

That reminds me of the fact I stole from my best friend and my caring brother. I made a mental note to secretly slip some munny back where it belongs. I mindlessly chewed on the eraser of my pencil until it came off and I almost choked on it. I must be hungry. I got up and wandered into the kitchen, forgoing my homework and ransacked the fridge for an orange.

I grabbed my key and wandered out if the flat looking for some fresh air to clear my head. Maybe if I go to the clock tower Axel will be there? As much as I didn't like him I was curious about him. Maybe it was the fiery red hair or maybe it was just because he was older than all my other friends. The same kind of curiosity I had when meeting Seifer. I haven't yet had a chance to talk to the tall, tattooed man alone since his introduction to me.

I stopped by Cid's and say hello to Namine. I bought that ice cream I had promised I would get next time I was there.

"Hey, Roxas!"

"Hi Nam." I wasn't expecting to see her over the counter when I went to get sea-salt ice-cream.

"You okay? Are you sick?" My eyes must have been red and puffy from smoking.

"No...just tired." She couldn't be that naive I must smell like I've been rolling in weed.

"Do you need a ride home, I'm about to get off work in 20 minutes?"

"Umm..." I was about to go to the tower not go back home.

"We could go see a movie if you'd like," I checked my wallet knowing it was going to be empty,"Don't worry I'd take care of it!"

"But- but I'm a guy."

"Yeah? So...even though you're looking miserable and broke you're not going to let me treat you because...your masculinity is in stake?"

"No! I just...oh alright. " Axel probably wouldn't be at the tower anyway. I would be insane if I refused a cute and pretty girl like her. She was practically asking me out on a date. She texted her brother what I assume was the fact I was joining them.

"My brother and his boyfriend are meeting me there I hope you don't mind."

"Demyx is gay?"Shit, my mouth vomit causes me to talk aloud again.

"I think he's bi but yes, he has a boyfriend, Zexion!" Oh, so that's who the musician gushed about when I walked in on their practice session.

Namine's shift ended and a girl a little older than us came to relief her of her duty. I immediately let go of Nam's hand as she stopped to chat with her co-worker.

"Hi Yuna! How goes it?"

"I'm doing quite well after the whole preggo misunderstanding. I'm on the pill now because I don't think I need a kid before I'm married. My father agrees wholeheartedly after threatening my boyfriend's manhood."

"Good golly, tell him to keep it in his pants before he gets castrated. "

"Oh no, I could tell him that. I like making love to him too much. You'll understand when you get a love life...unless this is him."

"Oh no, Roxas is just a patron here and he goes to my school!"

"Where you guys going that he needed to hold your hand for?"

"The cinema to meet up with Dem and Zex."

"A double date then I was right!"

"N-no!"

After we managed to escape the tight hold Yuna had on us Namine drove us to the cinema. If I had known I was going out with her I would have dressed better than a pair of cargo shorts and a Slipknot T-shirt. Though Namine was just wearing her work uniform so I didn't mind that neither of us were dressed to impress. We're just going as friends after all.

She pulled in a parking spot near the back where her brother and his date were waiting. Demyx was bouncing on the balls of his feet while griping the arm of whom I can assume was Zexion looking unimpressed about his boyfriend's inability to stand still. I chuckled at the unfortunate duo. It was nice to see some different faces and personalities. I thought all if Axel's friends were going to be rainbows.

"Roxas, I'm so glad you came to join us! The more the merrier!" The musician let go of his purple haired boyfriend's arm finally and reached over to give me a hug. I slipped away from his grasp and hid behind a shorter Namine.

"Dem, personal space." He scolded his taller significant other and held out his hand to shake mine. Someone with common sense!

"So the other day, I saw Axel grab your arse. " I wasn't trying to get Dem in trouble...I just wanted to see their reactions.

"Oh! Ehehe...how awkward."

"Yes awkward indeed." Zexion quirked an eyebrow and cleared his throat.

"Zexy, don't pout. My booty is all yours!" The purple haired college student wasn't pouting though. At least not that I could tell.

"What movie is playing that you want to see?" Namine asked her brother as she checked the screenings on the menu.

"Suicide Squad!" The blond with the mullet did a pseudo superhero pose even though it was more of a chaotic neutral cast.

"Sounds good to me as long as its not another stupid animal film." I shivered at the thought of having to watch The Secret Life of Pets for a 4th time. It was cute and funny , then still cute and then it became dreadful because Sora wouldn't shut up and watch the film. I blame Riku for that account since he found some excuse to bail on us. Lucky bastard was most likely sitting at home feigning being tired from rugby and playing Call of Duty. Karma will get him soon enough.

Demyx was nice enough to pay for all of us since Namine and him were rolling in munny. I don't know why he only goes to the community college when he could afford any school he wanted. Something tells me he doesn't have the grades for it. Zexion on the other hand was so smart he could have rivaled Sephiroth in a Scrabble game. Said boy was being coddled by Demyx trying to feed him cheddar cheese popcorn and little pieces of candy. I sipped my drink in peace and my mood was instantly lifted when a 21 Pilots song played.

All my friends are heathens, take it slow

Wait for them to ask you who you know

Please don't make any sudden moves

You don't know the half of the abuse

"You like them?" Namine whispered in my ear.

I nodded with enthusiasm. I would marry the brothers if I could. I was that much of a fanboy.

"Dem and Axel play cover songs of them all the time. Just for fun but I bet if you get on their good side they'll play some for you."

"Dem has a bad side?"

"I know shocking but normally he's not as nervous. He's just stressed over the gig this weekend."

"Are you going?"

"No...I have a double shift because Yuna is going to support Tidus."

"Oh, that's her boyfriend?"

"Shh! No taking!" A handful of popcorn hit my backside and shoulder followed by a giggling musician.

We sat for the rest of the film in peace occasionally exchanging looks or stealing some of her brother's popcorn. The cinema was a little crowded due to it being a new release but I wasn't waiting to see all the spoilers on the internet when I could be enjoying it with some awesome people if i do say so myself.

Namine dropped me back off at my flat and we said our goodbyes.

"Oh you live in Sora's building?"

"Yep, he'd kind of my new best friend."

"He's a sweetheart."

"Kairi said your an artist. Do you mind showing me sometime?"

"Oh! Well...I suppose. I have painting class with Sora actually."

"I'll have to poke my head into the art room while I have the bathroom pass sometime then."

"I look forward to seeing you sometime then. I don't work tomorrow so don't try looking for me. Oh, do you still have my number? I gave it to you right? Maybe Dem's too just in case you can't find the concert Saturday." She was kind enough to walk me to my door. We nodded towards each other and waved goodbye.

I found myself one step closer to Axel yet again. I needed to take a step back. It was definitely the redhead thing. I decided to inviting Kairi to Traverse Town. Cloud was already home when I unlocked the door. He was laying on the couch reading a book.

"You gifted at reading upside down?" I giggled seeing as it was facing the wrong way.

"What?!" He shouted a little to loudly. He jolted upright and looked suspicious.

"You're weird. How was work?"

"It was fine, I didn't really get much done. Who's the girl you got out with?"

"Where you spying on me?"

"No, Squall just said-"

"You two gossiping about me?"

"No, I was just talking to him in the hall when he told me you were with a girl."

"I invited Kairi to go with me Saturday." I changed the subject.

"My little brother the heartbreak, 2 girls at once." I could see the devilish smirk across his face. Jerkoff.

"Ugh, you're such a twat!" It wasn't like that at all. How could he even tease me about that?

I rolled over onto my bed and stared up at the curling fan as it spun around. Did I like Namine? She was cute and good looking, not to mention rich but we didn't have all that much in common. We didn't listen to the sane genre of music, we didn't like similar flavours of ice cream and we certainly had different opinions on who the best super heroes and super villains were after watching the film. I thought Harley Quinn was a cutie and Namine though she was cliche. It didn't help that Zexion said she didn't wear enough clothes to protect herself when she fought. All Demyx said was she was scary like Larxene.

Did I like Kairi? She was a redhead, one of my preferences when it came to how attractive someone was. Her chest wasn't near as large as her younger sisters was but she had a nice, firm pair of bollocks. She was really endearing after her quest to rule over Riku came to an end and I actually learned there was more to what my eyes could see. Maybe I just needed to get to know her on a more personal level.

Kairi had texted back that she actually had plans with her family to go to the state faire that day. I perused my lips and wracked my head for someone I could take with me. I needed more friends or at least my old ones back. At times like these I wish I had access to a teleporter to get Hayner over here.

I started at my contact for Hayner and pressed it opening a blank thread of text messages. I hesitated to type anything but finally moved my fingers across the touchscreen.

Roxas: hey hayner...how are you? sorry i havent texted you bro

I gasped when I sit send, willing it to be unable to go through. I pulled my phone in to the charger and set it on my desk. After waiting 10 minutes for a reply I decided to get up and shower. I'm sure he'd text back by then. I took my time giving it a half hour until Cloud complained loudly that there wouldn't be any hot water for him. I came out in my pyjamas pants and my teeth brushed.

I had a message in my inbox and I held my breath when I opened it.

Hayner: did you fuckin' forget about me

I could feel my eyes become glossy and I quickly typed back a response.

Roxas: you could have texted me ya know.

I backspaced the reply and turned shut off my phone. I didn't have time to think about this. I was suppose to be getting a fresh start and here I am dwelling in the past. I didn't sleep that good that night, I was tossing and turning trying to find a cool spot in my pillows. Memories of my childhood played out in my head like an old homemade movie. Everyone had happy faces marred with toothy grins but I couldn't find myself smiling as our 10 year old selves kicked a ball back and forth or we ate baked cheesecake baked from scratch.

I found myself repeating the lyrics to Heathens.

We don't deal with outsiders very well

They say newcomers have a certain smell

Yeah, I trust issues, not to mention

They say they can smell your intentions


	13. Chapter 13

Saturday I found myself naked and nothing to wear. Fire and Water, Demyx's band was playing tonight at Traverse Town. From what I heard at their practice they were known for their alternative rock and post-hardcore. I didn't want dress out if place amongst a bunch of hipsters or whatever stereotype was in these days. My skinny jeans days had long been forgone because of my cast no matter how great my booty looked good in them. I couldn't wear another group's T-shirt to Demyx's concert. That would be like going to a hockey game or any sporting event while wearing another team's jersey.

I settled on a neutral back sleeveless shirt that says I'm Allergic To Stupidity, I Break Out In Sarcasm' and a pair of acid washed jean shorts that cut off at my ankles. Feeling lazy I just slipped on a pair of white flipflops and my black cuff bracelet. I didn't look as good as I'd have liked but it would have to do until I could wear pants again.

I looked myself over once more in the full length mirror in the bathroom. I ran my hands a few times through my thinning hair as strands of my thick locks stuck to my fingers. Maybe if I ever got off the drugs my hair would stop falling out. I pulled a black beanie over my head that could have possibly been one of Seifer's at one point.

"I wanna get there early so I can get a good spot!" I called out to my brother. I actually just want to hide in an alley for a bit and smoke a joint since I hadn't had the chance to yet. Cloud's been home all day running back and fourth between our flat and Squall's. Normally I would ask but every day off they've both shared he's been like this. It makes me wonder if something more is going on. The good boy in me doesn't want to ask in fear of setting him off though. I've yet to see him mope and mourn over Zack yet since he passed away 3 months ago.

I'm sure Sora would have mentioned to me if Leon was acting different around my brother anyway. Speaking of the devil, the brunet got himself grounded when he broke a flower vase and blamed it on his cats. He was only found out because cats can't open doors and said door was to Squall's room which was closed. Sora claimed he was just looking for batteries as he blubbered to his brother. So now I was out if options to hang out with thus weekend.

There was always Riku but things have taken a strange occurrence when he got onto Sora's shit list for flirting with a new student yesterday afternoon. Sora has told us to shun the silver haired boy out and anyone caught being friendly to him would get the same treatment. I'm almost certain the brunet is taking this completely out of proportion no doubt. Heck, I even felt sorry for the poor bastard when his crush pretended Ri never existed.

With all things set aside, I'm sure everything for go back to normal after this weekend. I just couldn't believe I was going to see Axel again. That was the most abnormal event to occur so I think. I'm just doing so Dem doesn't flood everyone with his tears after I promised to go. Not that I think he'd sob a bunch when his 'Sexy-Zexy', his words not mine, was going to be looking up at the crowd at him. Which, is how they met eventually.

The car ride to the concert hall was short, leaving me not much time to think about everything in retrospect. He pulled over behind a long line of cars that extended at least 8 blocks down the road. I'd hate to see the mess of parking lots closer to the building. I had no idea the band was that popular. There was a few vehicles with licences plates from out of town. I thought this was a local band. Shit, I wonder if anyone's attempted to scout them yet.

"I'm going to pick you up at midnight so you can enjoy the after-party with your friends. Just be safe and don't do any drugs or accept drinks from anyone without seeing it being poured. In fact, don't leave your drinks unattended either. Text me the address when you can." Well, at least he is honest with me that he knows about my drinking. Though, he probably assumes I'm a social drinker at best. If I had 24 -hour access to any kind of liquor or beer I wanted, I'd be an alcoholic by now.

"Don't worry about me, I know the unwritten rules of partying."

"Have fun...Oh!" He pulls out his wallet and pulls out some munny,"If you're hungry or someone wants gas money from you."

"Thanks a lot." I gratefully accepted the munny bills. I could buy some drugs if I saved it up.

"Don't get any girls pregnant. I don't think we've had the straight talk of the birds and the bees yet." Oh fuck no, I already got the gay version from him. I didn't need to hear him ask if I've had a taste of pussy yet. I'd think I'll gouge my eardrums out with a toothpick first before anything.

"Go home already and do what you do when I'm not around."

"Wank off and order pizza?"

"Hurk, bad mental images!" I made a motion with my fingers and pretended to stick the appendages down my esophagus. He wholeheartedly laughed and went on his way leaving me to my owm devices. I quickly peeled down towards a shallow but dark niche and stood behind a dumpster. I rolled out a joint with ambidextrous hands and lit it up. I inhaled the sweet aroma of the grass, a musky scent but strangely like the Earth.

I let my mind wander to more peaceful feelings. I wondered if I was going to meet an attractive girl, ideally with red hair and a curvy body perhaps a few years older than myself with extensive experience in pleasing people. I stopped myself in thinking too hard about the unknown beauty of my dreams before I give myself an erection in a filthy alley.

I walked into Traverse Town after showing the ticketmaster the VIP pass Namine had given me. A few people behind me looked envious that I would get to go behind stage. Guys, try talking to Dem he'd be friends with anyone though I don't think he would ever give anyone except Zexion a pass. Luckily his sister was sweet on me as Cloud said when I showed him the card.

I made my way through the intence sea of bodies unable to sit down due to there not being enough seats. Many would rather dance and chatter anyway but cripples like me couldn't stand around much and I certainly didn't dance. The curtains wouldn't open until the show started at 7. I had a good 10 minutes left around to wander. I could mingle or spend my time searching for a familiar face.

Someone tapped on my shoulder gently. I almost didn't think it was meant to grab my attention since someone could have just bumped into me all the same. I only turned around when they poked me rather roughly in a soft spot. I craned my neck around seeing Zexion dressed in mostly black like myself except he was wearing a badarse leather jacket.

"Hey, snazzy jacket you got there."

"I know. Listen, since I never know anyone in the crowd...no, since there's never anyone in the crowd I get along with I think you'd do just peachy. I'd rather not be forced to get personal with Larxene or Yuna. I don't much care for either."

"You want to hang out with me?"

"Yes. I think I just said that more or less. I find your company much like my own. I love your shirt."

Zexion led me to an area near the front of the stage but not do close that our eardrums would shatter from the amplified bass. It was sweaty and hot in this area but we'd be able to perfectly make out the details of their faces up on stage and everything.

The lights dimmed and the stage became a health hazard for asthmatics due to all the coloured smog and smoke drifting upwards. The curtains lifted while everyone was blinded and rows of neon lights lit up the ceiling. The air cleared just enough that you could see 4 figures upon the centre of the stage. I heard the voice before I could actually see them fully.

"Hello guys! Thanks so much for everyone who bought our tickets and could make it. We got a full house tonight with just over 5,000 people. I know that doesn't seem like a lot compared to the amount that likes our FaceBook group or YouTube channel but we'll make sure everyone sees this performance cuz we're going to stream it. Hopefully it doesn't mess up like it did last time."

"Dem, stop bragging they get it man," I felt chills when I heard his baritone voice speaking into the microphone. an echo of laughter could be heard from the crowd. Axel's eyes swept the room and his gaze settled on me. I felt my body heat up as eyes narrowed in my direction,"Do y'all have our names memorized by now? I see some new faces this time around so let me just double check with everyone. I'm Axel, that's Demyx our posterboy, Tidus in the back and our pretty little lady is Rinoa. She's newly single ladies and germs!" He winked at his fans.

After a few short words from from the other band mates they announced they were going to start off with a fan favourite, 'Sheep in Wolf's Clothing'. I didn't know any of their songs so I just stood there trying to catch all the lyrics and enjoy the rhythm. Axel and Demyx both sung bits and pieces of the music, sometimes by themselves and other times together. Both also had a guitar strapped around their shoulder but the green eyed man played bass while the blue eyed one strummed on lead guitar.

20 minutes into their first set and they were dripping head to toe in sweat. Axel's shirt came off in my general direction and women pushed into me trying to snatch the tank top at my feet. At least Zexion kicked one of them away when they came dangerously close to pushing me into the ground. I have been to plenty of shows before but never had I been around a pack of territorial, hormonal girls trying to get their favourite band member's shirt.

My eyes were drawn to the body art on his chest. He had a Chinese dragon wrapped around his pectoral and shoulder leading into a sleeve of forest of wolves. The other side of him was bare of any artwork except a tribal tattoo around his bicep. I vaguely wondered how he ended up with such shitty tattoos on his face.

All my thoughts went away when Demyx lost his shirt too. I thought I would have to cling to his boyfriend if another shirt went into our direction but the pushing and shoving never came. No one dared move towards the cotton article as Zexion picked up his lover's shirt. It's like they all knew...scary. I could just make out the curves in his lips pull upwards into a smirk. Okay, so this kid totally rocked the while grunge look except he was missing piercings or body art. Instead, he had glasses and a book tucked under his arm.

The concert began to wind down at 9 when they wee out of breath and clothes to get rid of. Axel tried throwing his pants near me but Demyx stopped him from taking those off thankfully. I didn't need to die tonight and be in the newspaper by morning. 'Teen crushed to death by fangirls over a pair of pants belonging to a local celebrity'. I could see it now unless it wouldn't be brushed upon and I'll be thrusted into the back pagers in between elderly people's deaths.

After the show had ended, Zexion signaled me to follow him back stage. The bodyguard looked at our passes before letting us through. Axel was standing in front if a large fan letting his voice echo into it. He was still shirtless but he had a towel around his neck to absorb the sweat from his skin. Demyx already had a new shirt on and accepted the dirty discarded one from his boyfriend to put into a plastic bag.

"I knew you'd come! I have 2 cute little fanboys." Demyx gushed pulling us both towards his sticky body for a hug. I got a whiff of armpit, ugh!

"Aww, Roxy. I was counting on you to get my shirt for me." Axel joined in the group hug. I blushed as his bare skin touched my shoulder. Put on a shirt for Christ sake!

"Why don't you just throw it on the stage?" I mumbled back.

"Where's the fun in that?" Someone touched my backside and tried copping a feel. Axellllll!

"It's not like it would matter, they would just crawl up there to get it." The purple haired young adult seperated the group hug to give his blond boyfriend a kiss on the lips.

"We've had to fight 'em off before." Tidus added. I would never understand their lifestyle in a million years. We were worlds apart.

I rode with Zexion to the after-party. He never asked me for gas money even when I offered it to him. We followed behind Tidus' van after they loaded up their instruments. The party was at an old mansion that Demyx had begged his parents to buy for him. It was dubbed 'Demyx and Zexion's love shack' but he made it crystal clear nothing full of love ever did anything in there. It was creepy and most definitely had poltergeists in the wine cellar. Did I mention I have an unreasonable fear of spirits or ghosts. That shit made me cry like a kid who's balloon just floated away.


End file.
